Decisions - Headed Home Part 10 November 11 2015, 5 Comments

September 10, 2013 continued...

Justin arrived that afternoon and we left together to talk.  We walked down the colorful hallway of NCH sponsors making our way from the PICU towards the other end of the hospital where there was a cafeteria.  I clearly remember feeling a little out of body.

We held hands and walked.  It kind of felt like we were slowly floating.  Maybe it was just because I was exhausted.

People whizzed by hurriedly.  Doctors on their way to a consult. Parents pulling kids in wagons.  Family clutching balloons making their way to visit.  

And who knows, perhaps we were passing a couple headed the opposite direction to discuss similar things.  

It was surreal.

We made it to the food court and chose asian.  I think I might have taken one bite of food.  I was hungry, but felt sick.  We headed outside to the circular walking path that enclosed the playground and walked as we talked.  I filled him in on the morning.  The MRI results and the neurologist's opinions. The code afterwards.  

We ended up on a bench nearby where we concluded our conversation.  I laid my head on his shoulder as we sat quietly for some time... knowing that when we got up from that bench we'd head back inside to Bryer's room and make our decision known.

The mask would come off at 6pm.  He'd be in my arms.  We'd love him into eternity.