The Voice of Truth September 11 2017, 2 Comments
Apologies for the heavier posts, but this is a heavier time of year for me, so tis the season.
Time-hop reminded me, although I had already remembered, about the day 2 years ago that we were told our baby had 2 heart tumors.
I had gotten a lovely sonogram picture of baby’s (Arrow’s) face. I remember just staring at it in disbelief. I truly could not believe what we had just been told.
And as I unraveled, alone in my car in St. Ann’s parking lot, the lies began to come. Of course, in my broken state I didn’t recognize them as such or call their bluff. I was like a wounded animal in an open field. Easy prey.
You can’t do this.
You aren’t strong enough.
You and Justin aren’t strong enough.
You don’t deserve this.
Where is God?
This baby will suffer.
Your family will suffer.
And on and on.
As I drove from the parking lot to my mom’s, a song came on the radio. It was a rather old song that doesn’t play over and over again like some tend to do.
“The Voice of Truth.”
I listened. I even kept singing the chorus well after it was over. Over and over and over. I shared the lyrics on FB as I battled silently.
Wouldn’t you know some 4 hours later when I got back into the car to go home, it was the first song playing when I turned the key? I love it when God does that. Knowing how the rest of the story plays out and how much MORE heart break would be in the coming weeks (the finding of numerous brain tumors at 29 weeks), I know He was trying to get my attention and prepare my heart.
“Carey, out of all the voices calling out to you, make the choice to keep your eyes on me. Seek the voice of truth.”
And man, I tried. It’s a hard discipline in the midst of a storm. Somedays were better than others. Several days in a row were the worst of my life. But here’s the thing. The voice of truth, is stronger. If you just listen for it.
It came to me by way of:
My childhood pastor
A Christian counselor
A Christian mentor/author
We ALL get fed so many lies in our lives here on earth don’t we? We get attacked from every direction. I’m not good enough. I will never be happy. God has forgotten me. I deserve this. I am just not successful. I am not smart. No body loves me. It’s my fault. I can’t do it.
When a storm comes, the lies only intensify. So, I want to encourage you. Seek the voice of truth.
Stop. Be still.
Set the fear, the anger, the worry and the loneliness aside long enough to listen for it. Allow people to speak truth into your heart. There are so many who love you, most especially the God who created you.
This is a picture of Arrow today after I rocked him asleep for a nap.
The truth is, I love him more than words can begin to capture. The truth is, he is JOY. The truth is, he is happy. The truth is, he IS the blessing that we prayed for all along.