Big Brother Love January 12 2015, 2 Comments

I can't even begin to tell you all the ways people ministered to me and were the hands and feet of Jesus during Bryer's life and after. They picked up the Sword of Truth and spoke encouragement. The helped me fight.  But sometimes it’s wasn't even words they offered.  It was their presence.  They came along side me. The enemy would have me believe many times that I was in this alone...but I wasn’t.  

My husband, my family, my friends and my church all battled beside me. Oh my, there are countless examples I could give from what my army did for me, especially from the women in my life, but I want to share this one.

And it seems like the perfect day to do so, in honor of my brother Aaron's birthday.  

It was days before Bryer died...he had coded in my arms and they had placed him on a temporary type of life support that could not be continued longer than 12 hours.  

As I waited on Justin to get down to the hospital, I sat on the couch alone in the ICU room with Bryer.  I felt heavy and defeated. My head must have literally been hanging with eyes on the floor when I heard the familiar sound of the rainbow curtain pull back - it was such a distinct "rip". I looked up expecting to see another clinician of sorts coming to evaluate Bryer. 

But instead, there stood Ryan and Aaron.  Aaron had been there earlier, but had accompanied my mom down to lunch for awhile. So very unexpectedly, both of my brothers stood before me.

I don’t have sisters (biological anyway:) but God gave me two amazing older brothers.  If any of you know them, they certainly have a presence. They are tall and handsome, not that it matters, but it's the truth. Especially when coming from the middle of their work day in crisply pressed shirts with remnants of summer fishing on their faces as was the case that day.

They had shown up and it was just what I needed.

They couldn’t save Bryer anymore than I could, and there wasn't even much they could say, but they came.  They listened.  I was the little sister, and they were the big brothers in every since of the word. They wrapped their arms around me and they held Bryer’s little hand in the palm of their very big hands while I took time to talk with Justin.  

It meant everything.  If you know the hymn, "Love Lifted Me", that's what was happening.  "When nothing else could help, love lifted me."

Thank you, Ryan and Aaron, for your big brother love in those moments. I am so blessed to have you.