Sand-man November 11 2014, 3 Comments

It's not lost on me that each one of your children…well ALL the children that God has uniquely created are special.  More than that, they are our very hearts aren't they?  As parents, we get the best and worst of them.  Those hilarious conversations or quips with a 3 year-old that when retold lose all the luster and timing of the moment.  The expressions that you wish you could wrap-up and re-gift, but can't.  The gestures that make your heart feel like it might just burst and leaves a grin on your face. I try to write down a lot of those moments in my journal.  I hope you do too… 

Sander was 3 weeks shy of turning 2 when Bryer came into the world.  I look back and think, "Oh he was a baby himself!"  I see other 2 year olds now and they seem so little.  I guess when you have a new baby, the old baby of the family suddenly SEEMS so big.  Before Bryer, I remember being concerned that Sander wasn't saying much…enough that I took him for a speech evaluation.  Then Bryer came along and we got busy...

It was January 2013, Bryer was 3 months old and still in the NICU.  It was a dark time, literally and figuratively.  Justin and I were like ships passing in the night.  I was splitting time quite evenly between the NICU and home.  We were worn and deflated. But, this one particular night in January, Justin and I were home at the same time with the kids.  We did dinner together and then headed upstairs for bath and bed.  Mom must have been down at NCH with B, so I was able to shelf the guilt of not being with Bryer, and I remember just being so happy.  Happy to be doing these normal family tasks together.  

Bath time had ended and the kids were wet and naked in their towels.  Justin and I were seated on our bedroom floor trying to wrangle Sander to dry him off.  And in this moment, Sander drops his towel, and the "Pee-pee Butt show" was born.  I know.  I know.  It sounds terrible, but I assure you we did not come up with the name nor the pretense for such a display!  No, our just over 2 year old son did.  Yes,  the one that was hardly talking just two months prior.  He proceeded to completely entertain us for 45 minutes.  Not just with the pee-pee butt show! But, he did. not. stop. He kept pulling new material out of thin air.  I have never laughed so hard in my life.  Justin and I were both crying.  And it just fueled him on.  It was one of those times, we looked at each other with question.  See, Justin and I are aren't really that funny, nor do we have big personalities.  Where was this coming from!?  On and on and on he went. My abs hurt the next day from laughing so hard.  For real. 

Our little family needed that evening...those solid 45 minutes of side splitting, peeing your pants laughter. The togetherness.  If you knew Sander, he had always shown hints here and there of this side, but I will never forget this explosive display.   What a gift it was in the midst of such uncertainty and separation.  God knew what we needed.  He knew it when He was knitting Sander together in my womb and gave him to us November 10, 2010. 

Anyway, just some thoughts I had when running yesterday (his 4th birthday).  Thank you, Lord for giving us Sander William.  

A little montage