Double Reinforcement March 07 2015, 0 Comments
For anybody that's bought a Bryer's Song shirt or read this blog, you are familiar with Isaiah 40:31.
"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.
They shall mount up on wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not be faint."
You can read more here on how this verse came to be so powerful and pivotal on our journey.
A quick summation - A dear friend had written the verse in large print and drawn a cross in the center with Bryer's name in it. I placed it on the wall behind his crib with prayers and scripture from many others. It stood out and I read it all the time.
Today, I got a text from my drawer-of-the-cross friend, Catherine:) She sent me a picture she had seen in her Time Hop. It was a picture of the above scripture she had made 2 years ago today. She just wanted me to know she was thinking of me and of Bryer. Sweet.
A few hours later at my niece's basketball game, my sister in law, Lisa, is sitting next to me and pulls out a beautiful blue journal. I love journals. I was looking at the back and immediately noticed the butterflies…Nationwide Children's Hospital logo…and said "Oh Lisa, look at those butterflies, this is beautiful!" Then she turned it over with a smile and there was Isaiah 40:31. Amongst the butterflies, how fitting.
Isn't that sweet? Twice in one day. I love how He works! Yes, I credit this to Him. He is reminding me of the hope and the renewed strength I gain when I trust in Him as I continue to walk out my days here on earth. But also the hope turned eternal reality my boy is experiencing this. very. moment.
I can't lie, I've been weepy and really missing B lately in a new way that's hard to explain. Not sure if this is one of the steps of grieving? I say that as if someone has it figured out! Today was one of those days. It crept up on me after I was at Nationwide Children's Hospital for orientation. I had to get labs drawn as part of the process. The lab is down by where all the out patient clinics are housed. I hadn't been that way since I had taken Bryer on his many appointments the summer of '13. On my way, I passed by a little corner with couches and a couple of chairs. I paused. It was a little nook B and I had taken over one afternoon in-between clinics. We had spread out and were killing time before audiology. I held him and he wore a striped yellow onesie and hearing aids. He was happy and talking and we enjoyed being by the window. I talked to him and we played with his toys. As I paused there, I saw this in my mind as vivid as if it were happening right in front of me. I hadn't thought on that moment for a long time, if ever. I could smell him. Feel him. Hear him. I think God gave me this too, for it's harder and harder to "find him" like this. And when I do, it's a gift. A gift followed by an ache.
And God knew this would be, so He gave me not one, but two, reminders. He's got me. He's got Bryer. And someday He'll have us both in the same place forever. And that's what I choose to hold onto as I put my weary head to the pillow tonight. <3